There’s a lot of pressure to say “yes” to all the obligations around us. This pressure comes from guilty of saying “no” and not being seen as a “good” supportive person. This conflict causes a lot anxiety for us.
Even though you feel like you should be saying “yes” to people, places, and things…. there’s consequences for not saying “no”.
Think about it this way…
Every time you say “yes” to something, you’re saying “no” to something else. Without even knowing it, you’re automatically saying “no” to something most likely very important to you.
Don’t allow this anxiety to happen.
Whether that something is you own self-care time, bonding time with your spouse, play time with your kids, time to prioritize your health…. something HAS to give.
When you add one thing to your plate, it replaces another.
Learning how to say “no” is a big first step to practicing self-care. If you don’t prioritize things important to you, no one else will.
You are the gatekeeper to the things that are important to you. Which means if you’re taking on obligations that don’t actually matter to you, the stuff that actually matter to you will be jeopardize. This is the breading ground for anxiety.
The truth is, there’s no one to blame but ourselves.
We’re the ones that put ourselves in these situations.
We’re the ones that over stretch what we can humanly do without feeling burned out.
It’s your job is to identify what’s actually important to you. Then it’s your job to prioritize those things in your life.
These things can’t happen unless you’re practicing a healthy amount of “no’s” in your life.
You should be saying “no” waaay more than you should be saying “yes”. The things you do say “yes” to should be only special things that will make a positive impact on you.
Be aware to not tacking on other people’s agendas because you feel guilty about saying “no”. Guilt isn’t a good enough reason to say “yes”.
Here’s a good exercise to try:
For every one “yes” there should be five “no’s”. This will help you get in the practice of saying “no” more often while also decreasing obligation anxiety.
It takes some serious practice to get to a point where you feel somewhat comfortable saying “no”. Remember practice makes permanence. So keep trying and you’ll get there! Anxiety counseling in Tampa can help decrease the stress and guilt of saying “no” so you can start saying “yes” to the things you want.
If you have any questions about how to prioritize yourself click here and I’d be happy answer them.