Dating a narcissist can be an emotional roller coaster, especially if you didn’t know you were even dating one! I call these ‘The Covert Narcissist”.
The narcissist will always show their best side and make you believe that they are truly interested in you, when really the narcissist is only looking for someone to feed into their ego. They love attention and admiration, but if they don’t get it from all angles, then they become very frustrated with those around them. Narcissists also have a tendency to want everything to go their way at all times without any compromise or consideration for others’ feelings. If you feel like your relationship is becoming too one-sided or not what it should be, here are 5 flags to look out for!
What is Narcissism?
In general, people with narcissistic personality disorder are those who are preoccupied with their own success and with a grand sense of self-importance that influences their decision-making and interactions.
Why Is Narcissism a roblem?
Narcissists find it difficult to build or maintain connections with others because of their manipulative tendencies and lack of empathy. They feel entitled and lack compassion, but crave attention and admiration. These leads to toxic patterns of communication, boundaries and in the end difficult to maintain relationships.
5 Reg Flags of a Covert Narcissist
1. They are always the center of attention.
This narcissist needs attention at all times. They will get angry if you’re not giving them your full and undivided attention, or they are constantly competing with other people for it. If you find that the narcissist is becoming too one-sided in their desires, then a healthy relationship is not what they are looking for.
The narcissist will always show their best side and make you believe that they are truly interested in you, when really the narcissist is only looking for someone to feed into their ego. They love attention and admiration, but if they don’t get it from all angles, then they become very frustrated with those around them.
Narcissist also have a tendency to want everything to go their way at all times without any compromise or consideration for others’ feelings. If you feel like your relationship is becoming too one-sided or not what it should be, here are some other flags that narcissists will show!
2. They like to talk about themselves a lot.
Narcissists love talking about themselves, and they will be the center of attention in any conversation. They always have an opinion on what to do or how you should behave – if you don’t agree with them, then it’s a narcissist that is trying to control your every move!
It can also feel like there are no boundaries in the narcissist’s life, which can be a really frustrating thing for their partner. It can feel like they are always putting themselves before you and it’s never your turn to talk about what is happening with your day or how you’re feeling.
A narcissist will also refuse to listen when people disagree with them, which causes a lot of conflict.
3. They require constant admiration from others.
Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. They want you to tell them they are handsome, beautiful, intelligent or the best at everything they do – but only when it’s convenient for them! It can feel like narcissists will never be satisfied because there is always someone better than them in their eyes.
When narcissists first begin a relationship, they will be very complimentary and attentive – which makes it difficult to tell that narcissists are not all what they seem.
Narcissists also have a tendency to get jealous of other people when you spend time with them or talk about your interests instead of their own.
4. Their self-worth is based on how they feel people view them.
Narcissists are constantly seeking validation from other people in order to feel worthy of themselves. They don’t allow for any constructive criticism or feedback, but it’s important that narcissists learn how to process these things with the right mindset and attitude because they can be very beneficial!
It is also common for narcissist’s self-worth to be conditional, which means that it’s easy for narcissists to feel as if they are not good enough or worthy. This can lead narcissist’s relationships being unstable and volatile, because they will always need more validation from their partner.
5. They can be very charming and charismatic at first, but then turn cold when you don’t live up to their expectations.
Narcissists are masters of manipulation, and they will be very charming when you first meet them. They will make you feel like the most amazing person in the world and that they have a lot in common with you – narcissist’s do not just want to look good on the outside!
However, narcissist’s charm can turn cold and they will become very critical of their partner when you don’t live up to their expectations.
So, if narcissist’s behavior is becoming too one-sided or not what it should be in a relationship, then there are many things that narcissists may display – but these five flags can help!
What To Do Next?
If you recognize some of these traits or tendencies in your partner, then working with an expert in narcissism can help. Aniesa Hanson, PhD and her team of therapists in Tampa specialize in helping people just like you. Reach out and schedule a session with the link below.